Empty Space

I close my eyes to try to find something real,
But all I find are all these puddles and holes,
Dripping wet with disappointment and disdain,
The kind that haunt even the darkest and blackest of souls,
I pinch myself, hoping to just to feel,
Something other than the hollowness of pain,
Surrounded by the blackest of stormy clouds,
My heart opens and slowly starts to rain.

I dream in an attempt to foster hope,
That maybe all my scars and wounds will cleanse,
I try to take a mental picture of a happier place,
But it seems despair has already fogged the lens,
I reach out in vain to grab the light,
Just to find it burns right through my skin,
Left amidst the darkness, all alone,
An inevitable defeat is setting in.

I spin my web with old and tattered thread,
Unable to catch even the clumsiest of joy,
It’s the countdown to extinction for me,
And it appears to be me I am seeking to destroy,
I limp around in consequence and fate,
Sealed by my own tarnished strands,
Detesting my existence in this beautiful tragedy,
And the blood of consequence that stains my hands.

I cover up mistakes with lame excuses,
Justifying the disenchantment till the end,
Only to come to realize much, much later,
That the dreams I manifest are just to pretend,
I raise my shaking hands towards the sky,
As my mind conjures a vision of your face,
When you are gone, however will I fill,
The hole you’ll leave behind of empty space.