Asphyxiated

It seems my lungs at last are seizing
Leaving me coughing, gagging and wheezing
Gasping for breath and begging for air
Turning dark blue like the ocean of despair
The blood in my veins is starting to crawl
As my brain starts to hemorrhage in the thick of it all
The chambers of my heart are starting to pound
As the light turns to black, I can’t hear a sound
Catharsis now is setting in
And a burning sensation is stinging my skin
My arm’s going numb, my balance is gone
My eyes start to water, I won’t see the dawn
My muscles all tighten and cramp up with pain
I reach for my throat, but I know its in vain,
For now it’s too late, I will never get loose,
As I hang from the ceiling doomed by this noose.

Suckerpunch

I step into the ring with you, holding heart in hands
And before the ref even rings the bell, your hard right hook lands,
It sends me reeling towards the ropes, and bloodies up my nose,
And then you’re back on top of me, delivering endless blows,
I stagger to my feet to try and counter all your shots,
But now my skin is stained with blood and the cuts are forming clots,
I’m woozy and off balance, and the lights are blinding my eyes,
I can see this fight will end soon, and spell my quick demise.

I try to fight back in defensiveness, to pull a will from within,
But just as the adrenaline starts to flow, another jab to the chin,
It seems I’m swinging aimlessly trying to hold on,
Until I finally realize, my will to win is gone,
I never had a chance in this, and the beating has worn me down,
I brought my heart to you, and now you’ve thrown it to the ground,
My love has been rescinded, and the lips that once kissed you, fat,
As I lie in a crumpled heap of pain, lifeless on the mat.

Requiem For The Heart

We are gathered here today, to say our last goodbye,
To a heart we all loved dearly, but in the end, had to die,
Far too tormented, and twisted with pain and constant hurt,
We lower it so slowly now, to its place beneath the dirt.

Today there shall be no eulogy, or words of remembrance to say,
For broken hearts do not need reminded of how they got that way,
Instead we’ll simply bow our heads, silently in prayer,
And lay black roses full of thorns in memorial of its despair.

Ashes to ashes and dust to dust, the church bells ring as tears,
And fill the sky with a funeral hymn, reflecting on the years,
There shall be no stone or monument, to clearly mark the place,
Where this heart now lies forever, like a name without a face.

There shall be no wake… no celebration of the life it once had,
All that remains are memories, that leave our hearts so sad,
Everyone keeps telling me, as time passes I’ll be fine,
But the problem is, the heart we laid to rest today… was mine.

Push Me, Pull Me

I love the way you pull me, deep into your heart,
I love the way you draw me in and make my engine start,
I love the way you call to me, with longing in your eyes
I love the way you kiss me, and give me butterflies,
I love the way you hold me, and set my skin on fire,
I love the way you look at me, eyes full of desire,
I love the way you speak to me, without making a sound,
I love the way you pull me, it makes my heart pound.

I hate the way you push me, push me far away,
I hate the way you disappear from me, and leave me in dismay,
I hate the way you punish me, for things others have done,
I hate the way you hurt me, and leave me all undone,
I hate the way you leave me, lying helpless on the floor,
I hate the way you deny me, and Ill never know what for,
I hate the way you avoid me, like I’ve done something so wrong,
I hate the way you push me, the end... it wont be long.

Closing The Door

In a perfect world it wouldn't be this way
But a perfect world wouldn't lead me so astray
I hated the idea of losing something true
Until I realized, that something... wasn't you
I conjured up a person I wanted to see
Someone I thought would want a life with me
But sadly, I deceived myself for sure
Believing in something that cannot be anymore
Souls meet for reasons they never know
But to stay together... together they must grow
Just as the broken heart in itself mourns
It's easy to love the rose, without its thorns...
As the flower blossoms, so too does it thirst
As a heart without a love shall wish to burst
Much as mine does now without a choice
Alone and silent... without a voice.
Moving on without you will be tough
As will accepting that I was never good enough
To earn your love I've done all that I ever thought I could
But that thud you heard...


That was me closing that door for good.

How?

How do I replace the damaged cells?
The ones you left me with deep inside
The scars and tears of emptiness and loss
The sadness and the pain I cannot hide.

How do I correct this vessel's course?
When all I've ever sailed towards was you
Through heavy rain and violent winds of hopelessness
On a path I knew would never get to you.

How do I remove you from my heart?
When getting you there has always been the goal
Now I feel the emptiness that fills where you once were
Like echoes in the dark corners of my soul.

How do I accept the devastation?
That the tornado of your love left in my heart
And come to terms with the inevitable pain
That my dreams of you and I are blown apart.

How do I erase the visions of you lying in my arms?
All the embraces that made my jumping heart beat still
As much as I would love to destroy my memories of you
The harsh truth is... I probably never will.

Shut It Down

Today was a turning point for me
I realized who I need to be, is me...
With wounded heart and apathy in hand
Its time to turn away and make a stand
I've been down... a lot... and now its time
To spin myself around amidst this rhyme
To face the fact that maybe I'm just lost
I need to find my way at any cost
Sometimes I wish that she would leave my head
Despite the fact thats just the thing I dread
Truth be known, she couldn't be the one
For if she were, by now we'd have begun
Walking away has always seemed like quitting
But I'm realizing now, that it's admitting
That what we want isn't always what we need
So perhaps it's time to cut her out, and bleed...
Suffice to say, it hurts... in fact, it kills...
But torturing myself only instills
A weakness in me that will surely make me drown
My heart is torn and now I'll shut it down.

Like Suicide

With this knife in hand, I take a final breath,
And inhale into my lungs the smell of death,
Without much hesitation... and a searing will to try,
To plunge the blade and kill what needs to die,
I've replayed the scene a million times by now,
As a homicidal sweat ebbs at my brow,
Tonight it will be done, as it must be,
This pleasurable crime shall set me free.
I've tried to conjure ways to avoid this path,
But the fact remains I'm far too full of wrath,
Too long denied and toyed around too much,
That the time has come to stab to rest this crutch,
Sometimes the soul must die to be reborn,
Especially one as mine that's become so torn,
There will be no somber note to spell the end,
Know, that I will be much stronger, when I return again.
But for now, inevitably, its time to die,
As the ravens let out one last piercing cry,
Into my heart I plunge the blade so true,
Its like suicide, except the person dying... is you.

Dying Inside

Look deep into my eyes,

See the pain, hear tortured cries,

Deeper still and you will realize,

I am not sleeping, I'm no longer alive.

My body is here but my soul is free,

Escaping from that which beckons to me,

Into a demention of the unknown,

Surrounded by others, but still so alone.

Fear not the melancholy crying of the gull,

To me it is merely a peaceful lull,

Elude the light, flee into night,

Tranquillity is within my sight.

Wasted time, and washed out days,

Crucial measures require desperate ways,

Speak the truth reveal not a lie,

I am fading fast and I wish to die.

This world holds nothing more for me,

An oblivion of pain and agony,

Amid the depths of my body bleed,

I have lost the will of that which to exceed.

Life just seems to be slipping away,

Declining expeditiously every day.

Although, death, I do not fear,

I do not cry, shed no single tear,

With welcome arms, I spread apart,

Wave a last goodbye, and then depart.

The love I hold, I will not forget,

Dear memories I cannot omit,

But I grow tired, and terribly weak,

The existing future looks eminently bleak.

My facades are phony, and a smile quite rare,

Reality seems too severe to bear,

Silent screams course through my veins,

I must secede while I still am sane.

Stand Alone

Silent cries of pain subside,

As torture burns the love inside,

Many times your soul has cried,

Then withered like a rose and died,

Fear of all the things to come,

The struggle within has left you numb,

Sheltered by the helpless one,

Darkened children crave the sun.

Reaching out to touch the rain,

It coats your hand to leave a stain,

The turmoil leaves an endless pain,

Your heart is rendered dead with strain,

Creep amidst your fellow men,

And see your light release again,

A visitor in the Reaper's den,

A hopeful trail, another dead end.

From consequence and pain you learn,

You see yourself as bold and stern,

For the river cool you yearn,

On the Devil's stake you start to burn,

Look too long and turn to stone,

The dry cement of your hallow bones,

From deep inside, the demons groan,

In the fight against yourself, you stand alone.

Cemetary Gates

Welcome to your final place,

The place where you shall rest to waste,

Of tombs with stones, and fences rusty,

Of fields of gravel, cold and musty,

Rows of plots, both large and small,

The leaves alongside you die in fall,

Monuments plead epitaphs,

Beside you twisted Reapers laugh.

Wind blows by, each passing hour,

You know your mind is losing power,

See the tombstones, cracked and grey,

Where childen stay away to play,

Vines that take eternity to unravel,

Choke the trees to end life's battle,

The light before you begins to fade,

Buried beneath the Undertaker's spade.

Crosses lined up, row by row,

Mark out those who rest below,

Guns and bombs have wiped out men,

Soon some more will lay with them,

Victims of all death's great skill,

Day after day, undisturbed and still,

A thousand horrors, a thousand fates,

All locked within these cemetery gates.