Tuesday, May 29, 2012

The Fine Line

There is a fine line between what we want and what we need,
Sometimes its crossed by sadness, sometimes its crossed by greed,
But there’s no doubt at all, that we all choose the path we take,
In spite of all the consequences, and hearts we leave to break,
There is a fine line between who we are, and who we want to be,
And sometimes it takes a blinding light to finally help us see,
The realities of life that make us into who we are,
That either pulls our dreams towards us, or pushes them afar,
There is a fine line between what is love and what is hate,
Entangled in a choking vine that weaves the veins of fate,
Some of us will listen… and take the leap of faith without fear,
Some of us will choke on the choice and fall apart in tears,
There is a fine line between what is, and what shall be,
And CLEARLY in your life, what is just isn’t me,
It’s not because I’m worthless or not deserving of the chance,
It’s because you’re just not strong enough to take my hand and dance,
There is a fine line between what we want and what we need,
Sometimes its crossed by sadness, sometimes its crossed by greed,
It’s a line I crossed in search of you, that now has left be black,
But now I see that blinding light, and there is no turning back.

Monday, May 21, 2012

Melancholy Ink

Emptiness is the abyss in which I wallow,
Which makes each empty moment hard to swallow,
Choking on the knot that is lodged within my throat,
Manifested in each sad line of rhyme I’ve ever wrote,
The poet within me may set me free for awhile,
But there never seems to be any resolve behind my smile,
I’m really just a tattered mess that no one ever sees,
And though I’m standing six feet tall, deep down, I’m on my knees,
Crippled by the consequences of actions I have taken,
Burned by words from people that I clearly have mistaken,
I wish to be purged of this awful cataclysm,
As a demonized soul in need of a merciful exorcism,
Haunted by the faces of those who turned me away,
Lethargic as the will to love again starts to decay,
Maybe it’s the bad choices I’ve made for which I’m paying,
Perhaps it’s just the game of life I’m very bad at playing,
Too easily manipulated, too often taken for granted,
Leaving me to climb a mountain of emotions far too slanted,
Make no mistake, the love I’ve had… I’ve felt It,
But this hand feels as though the Devil himself has dealt it,
Petulant and ominous, storm after storm,
Stings at my heart like killer bees in a swarm,
I set out on my quest for relief from all the pain,
Only to reach the end of the road exhausted in disdain,
Reaching the summit, just to find ANOTHER peak,
And this endless climb of hopelessness has left me far too weak,
The eternal “fixer”, I seek souls who need help,
Only to make them smile, and live in hell myself,
“Do unto others” is the golden rule?
They omitted the part about being the fool,
I’ve tried to love people, and treat them like gold,
But it seems that my value is far undersold,
I’ve always thought of my love as a prize,
But in giving it, I always seal my demise,
It seems like I am the one who always loses,
Falling off this horse has left me covered in these bruises,
I build these walls and boundaries as a way to keep me protected,
But I inevitably bring them down just to get infected,
By disappointment, rejection and a heartbreak never ending,
Life keeps writing me love-notes, but they’re so damn condescending,
For those I love, I’ve given every ounce of me I could,
But the story never seems to end quite the way it should,
What starts out as a fairy tale, turns to a tragic comedy,
But the person who isn’t laughing when the curtains close, is me…
Imprisoned by the conundrum that is love,
Tossed aside whenever the push comes to the shove,
All I want, in truth, is to have my love reciprocated,
But instead it seems I just get left alone and devastated,
To all the girls I’ve ever loved, and hurt… I’m truly sorry,
Sleep well knowing that karma has interrupted my life story,
I know that I have been a jerk, and caused my share of sores,
Repaid by every raincloud that hovers above me when it pours,
But now I ask the powers that be to give me a reprieve,
So I can recharge my soul and learn  again how to believe,
My optimism is at a zero on a scale of one to ten,
As evidenced by the melancholy ink that leaves this pen…

Heartbreak and Headstones

I’ve always equated love lost with death,
Like a sickened soul taking its final breath,
The memories like the headstone with an epitaph,
The place I go to mourn while reapers laugh,
I’ve always equated walking away to a funeral procession,
Grieving with no real sense of direction,
Weeping and tolling in sadness and distress,
Leaving my complexion a teary mess.
I’ve always equated goodbye as eulogy,
Uttered words with no reason in futility,
Kneeling with Kleenex and tattered hopes,
Lowering the coffin with squeaking ropes,
I’ve always equated heartbreak as a burial ceremony,
Leaving me dressed in black and painfully lonely,
Choking up inside with every ring of the knell,
Heartbreak and headstones… two things I know too well…

Paradise Lost

Reflecting upon the many things I have endeavored,
Once again, all the dreams I have in life are severed,
Drowned in infamy and shrouded by the lies,
Another piece of my wounded black heart dies,
Drenched in guilt and confounded by such shame,
I meddle in the torture that bears your name,
I stand beneath the sun arms wide apart,
As you plunge the dagger deep into my heart.

I tried so hard to try to make you see,
The love that would have rescued you, was me,
And yet, you turned your back on me once more,
And left me in the rain outside your door,
It rattles me and pains me to the bone,
To watch you walk away from all we’ve known,
But in the end, I’ve come to understand,
I cannot force my heart into your hand.

Maybe it’s the fact that you are too afraid,
Perhaps it’s the end of a game you've well played,
But you can bet your life I question everything you said,
By the fact you’ve turned away and left me for dead,
Comprehension, I have none… how could I ever?
Especially when you claimed you’d want to lose me never,
I guess everything isn’t quite as real as it sometimes seems,
Once the Reaper takes his sickle to your dreams.

I invested so much love in you, and tried to heal your soul,
But now the fact you dismiss me, is taking its final toll,
I came to accept, and love you, for who I THOUGHT you were,
But you just aren’t that person, that much is for sure,
You cannot love someone and just leave them in the cold,
This isn’t some twisted game where love is bought and sold,
I opened up my heart to you, and left myself exposed,
And now the veins that pump my blood have closed.

Maybe to you, whatever we had was nothing, just for kicks,
But to me, it was something that I perceived as worth the risks,
Clearly, however, I was wrong about the way you really thought,
And the ease with which you drop me has me feeling quite distraught,
I’m not really sure what more I could have done to make you see,
That the person who was taking all the bullets for you was me,
Sometimes you have to lose something, to realize the cost,
As you slowly drift away from the paradise you lost.