Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Kiss Of Death

From the lips of angels come the most heartbreaking goodbyes,
Like a poisoned tip on Cupid’s somber arrow as it flies,
Hampered in the heart by a love far too ill-fated,
Leaving me in a puddle of grief, humbly devastated,
Riddled in the mind by the deathly silent cacophony,
Exhuming within me the raw emotions of regret and agony,
The angel spread her wings and flew away when I needed her most,
Leaving me soulless, dead, and colorlessly pale as a ghost,
I still remember with vividness the sweetness of her skin,
As vivid as the emptiness she left in me, deep within,
I can’t erase the memories or the moments that we shared,
It leaves me feeling helplessly broken… unable to be repaired,
Tortured behind the venomous stares that fill my hollow eyes,
Much as a mantis that gives its final act of love, then dies,
I never even saw the fangs that hid behind your lips,
Until they bit into my heart, which even now, still drips…

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

The Fine Line

There is a fine line between what we want and what we need,
Sometimes its crossed by sadness, sometimes its crossed by greed,
But there’s no doubt at all, that we all choose the path we take,
In spite of all the consequences, and hearts we leave to break,
There is a fine line between who we are, and who we want to be,
And sometimes it takes a blinding light to finally help us see,
The realities of life that make us into who we are,
That either pulls our dreams towards us, or pushes them afar,
There is a fine line between what is love and what is hate,
Entangled in a choking vine that weaves the veins of fate,
Some of us will listen… and take the leap of faith without fear,
Some of us will choke on the choice and fall apart in tears,
There is a fine line between what is, and what shall be,
And CLEARLY in your life, what is just isn’t me,
It’s not because I’m worthless or not deserving of the chance,
It’s because you’re just not strong enough to take my hand and dance,
There is a fine line between what we want and what we need,
Sometimes its crossed by sadness, sometimes its crossed by greed,
It’s a line I crossed in search of you, that now has left be black,
But now I see that blinding light, and there is no turning back.

Monday, May 21, 2012

Melancholy Ink

Emptiness is the abyss in which I wallow,
Which makes each empty moment hard to swallow,
Choking on the knot that is lodged within my throat,
Manifested in each sad line of rhyme I’ve ever wrote,
The poet within me may set me free for awhile,
But there never seems to be any resolve behind my smile,
I’m really just a tattered mess that no one ever sees,
And though I’m standing six feet tall, deep down, I’m on my knees,
Crippled by the consequences of actions I have taken,
Burned by words from people that I clearly have mistaken,
I wish to be purged of this awful cataclysm,
As a demonized soul in need of a merciful exorcism,
Haunted by the faces of those who turned me away,
Lethargic as the will to love again starts to decay,
Maybe it’s the bad choices I’ve made for which I’m paying,
Perhaps it’s just the game of life I’m very bad at playing,
Too easily manipulated, too often taken for granted,
Leaving me to climb a mountain of emotions far too slanted,
Make no mistake, the love I’ve had… I’ve felt It,
But this hand feels as though the Devil himself has dealt it,
Petulant and ominous, storm after storm,
Stings at my heart like killer bees in a swarm,
I set out on my quest for relief from all the pain,
Only to reach the end of the road exhausted in disdain,
Reaching the summit, just to find ANOTHER peak,
And this endless climb of hopelessness has left me far too weak,
The eternal “fixer”, I seek souls who need help,
Only to make them smile, and live in hell myself,
“Do unto others” is the golden rule?
They omitted the part about being the fool,
I’ve tried to love people, and treat them like gold,
But it seems that my value is far undersold,
I’ve always thought of my love as a prize,
But in giving it, I always seal my demise,
It seems like I am the one who always loses,
Falling off this horse has left me covered in these bruises,
I build these walls and boundaries as a way to keep me protected,
But I inevitably bring them down just to get infected,
By disappointment, rejection and a heartbreak never ending,
Life keeps writing me love-notes, but they’re so damn condescending,
For those I love, I’ve given every ounce of me I could,
But the story never seems to end quite the way it should,
What starts out as a fairy tale, turns to a tragic comedy,
But the person who isn’t laughing when the curtains close, is me…
Imprisoned by the conundrum that is love,
Tossed aside whenever the push comes to the shove,
All I want, in truth, is to have my love reciprocated,
But instead it seems I just get left alone and devastated,
To all the girls I’ve ever loved, and hurt… I’m truly sorry,
Sleep well knowing that karma has interrupted my life story,
I know that I have been a jerk, and caused my share of sores,
Repaid by every raincloud that hovers above me when it pours,
But now I ask the powers that be to give me a reprieve,
So I can recharge my soul and learn  again how to believe,
My optimism is at a zero on a scale of one to ten,
As evidenced by the melancholy ink that leaves this pen…

Heartbreak and Headstones

I’ve always equated love lost with death,
Like a sickened soul taking its final breath,
The memories like the headstone with an epitaph,
The place I go to mourn while reapers laugh,
I’ve always equated walking away to a funeral procession,
Grieving with no real sense of direction,
Weeping and tolling in sadness and distress,
Leaving my complexion a teary mess.
I’ve always equated goodbye as eulogy,
Uttered words with no reason in futility,
Kneeling with Kleenex and tattered hopes,
Lowering the coffin with squeaking ropes,
I’ve always equated heartbreak as a burial ceremony,
Leaving me dressed in black and painfully lonely,
Choking up inside with every ring of the knell,
Heartbreak and headstones… two things I know too well…

Paradise Lost

Reflecting upon the many things I have endeavored,
Once again, all the dreams I have in life are severed,
Drowned in infamy and shrouded by the lies,
Another piece of my wounded black heart dies,
Drenched in guilt and confounded by such shame,
I meddle in the torture that bears your name,
I stand beneath the sun arms wide apart,
As you plunge the dagger deep into my heart.

I tried so hard to try to make you see,
The love that would have rescued you, was me,
And yet, you turned your back on me once more,
And left me in the rain outside your door,
It rattles me and pains me to the bone,
To watch you walk away from all we’ve known,
But in the end, I’ve come to understand,
I cannot force my heart into your hand.

Maybe it’s the fact that you are too afraid,
Perhaps it’s the end of a game you've well played,
But you can bet your life I question everything you said,
By the fact you’ve turned away and left me for dead,
Comprehension, I have none… how could I ever?
Especially when you claimed you’d want to lose me never,
I guess everything isn’t quite as real as it sometimes seems,
Once the Reaper takes his sickle to your dreams.

I invested so much love in you, and tried to heal your soul,
But now the fact you dismiss me, is taking its final toll,
I came to accept, and love you, for who I THOUGHT you were,
But you just aren’t that person, that much is for sure,
You cannot love someone and just leave them in the cold,
This isn’t some twisted game where love is bought and sold,
I opened up my heart to you, and left myself exposed,
And now the veins that pump my blood have closed.

Maybe to you, whatever we had was nothing, just for kicks,
But to me, it was something that I perceived as worth the risks,
Clearly, however, I was wrong about the way you really thought,
And the ease with which you drop me has me feeling quite distraught,
I’m not really sure what more I could have done to make you see,
That the person who was taking all the bullets for you was me,
Sometimes you have to lose something, to realize the cost,
As you slowly drift away from the paradise you lost.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

As Your Casket Closes

Today I had to let you go, once and for all,
I’ve had enough of you throwing all my love against the wall,
It’s true I love you still, but you have left me in the cold,
And all the silence has left me hurt, and now its growing old,
I cannot change the way you feel, or make you understand,
And it seems that now, at last, I haven’t a leg on which to stand,
I’ve tried to save what once was great, but you just disappeared,
And now I have to face the life, for far too long I’ve feared.

I’m stumbling over all your words, and things you made me feel,
But now I doubt that any of those things were even real,
How can you expect me to believe that you were sincere,
When you walk away, just like that, and leave me dying here,
It doesn’t make a lick of sense, and I really don’t know why,
You said the things you did, and then just grew some wings to fly,
Away from us and all we had, without even a sound,
It appears the love I wrapped you with, has now become unwound.

I tried my best to deal with things, as messed up as they were,
But every volcano full of rage, erupts eventually, for sure,
I cannot be kept in the shadows, when all I wanted for you was light,
But I can’t be the only one who fights for what is right,
I made my effort to fix it, and try to talk things through,
But you ignored me and left me broken, just like you always do,
I guess I never meant enough, despite the things you claimed,
And though I will have to walk away from this, I do so unashamed.

Because I know I loved you the best I could, no matter what you say,
And I hope you never live to regret the love you’ve thrown away,
I can’t deny I was frustrated, but only because I Loved you so much,
And instead of trying to understand it, you used it as a crutch,
I have no regrets, I gave it my all, and you can guarantee,
You’ll search for quite awhile to find a love as real as me,
As I turn my back as you have forced me to, I shed a tear as I depart,
But as your casket closes, so too does my heart.

Monday, April 16, 2012

Invest In Vain

Invest in me my love, and I will surely let you down,
I’ll make you feel like royalty, and then I’ll watch you drown,
For me you are a great escape, for all the things I need,
But in the end, I’ll go back to him, and leave you alone to bleed,
Invest in me my love, and I will break your heart,
I’ll come to you on my terms, and I’ll choose when we depart,
I know I’ve got you in my hands, it’s where I like you most,
But when you search for me, I’ll be invisible like a ghost.

I know you are in love with me, it fills my heart with glee,
But I cannot not leave my other life, it isn’t you… it’s me,
It’s not because I hate you, or because it isn’t real,
It’s because I fear to make a choice, and I’m too afraid to feel,
It’s true I love you, I hope you know, but try to understand,
I’ve got a million excuses why I cannot take your hand,
I’ll say the things you need to hear, to keep you close to me,
But in the end, I’ll disappoint you… it’s how it has to be.

Invest in me my love, and I will bring you to your knees,
I’ll fill your heart with love, and then I’ll kill it like disease,
I’ll put myself in all your thoughts, and make you wonder why,
I’ll withdraw from you when things get weird, and leave you there to cry,
I can’t have you like you want, but I have to let you know,
You give me far too much for me to ever let you go,
So invest in me my love, and let me make it clear,
As long as you'll let me need you… I surely will my dear…

Sunday, April 15, 2012

The Fall

For all my life I've always found a way to mess things up,
I've always fought so hard for things I should've given up,
Forget the fact I'm stupid, and that nothing's as it seems,
I always find the path that takes me furthest from my dreams,
With every disappointment, and every lesson learned,
I wear the scars of misery, that clearly I have earned,
If you swim in the ocean of consequence where people let you down,
You'd best believe this ruthless world will gladly watch you drown,
I've always let my heart lead me, everywhere I've gone,
And despite the best intentions... the heartbreaks linger on,
And just when things get better, and my hope becomes reborn,
The storm clouds block the sunshine and my optimism's torn,
I put my faith in loving you... hoping I was right,
Yet somehow, instead I'm plunged into endless night,
The problem with the fact I let you build me up so tall,
Is that inevitably... I'll shatter when I fall.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Somnolent Whispers

In the wake of heartbreak I inevitably swoon,
Amidst the blinding shadows of the eclipsing moon,
Visceral and foreboding in my numb and transient mood,
Comatose as the fibers of my soul become unglued,
Silent are the echoes in the corners of the room,
Muffled is the heart that beats in the face of doom,
Unraveled and unbridled by my accepted demise,
I fall into my destiny, and slowly close my eyes,
Fractured by the many years of weight that I have carried,
Haunted by the emotions I have kept deep inside and buried,
Listless in my will to erase the memories of despair,
Submerged in misery as ravens fill the air,
Somnolent whispers are all this heart shall know,
Far, far too afraid of letting go,
For in the end the silence is the blood that keeps me alive,
Until the well runs dry and my will to live on dies.

Friday, March 30, 2012

The Calamitous Void

In the silence of sadness is an ever chilling wind,
Where the hand of death upon your shoulder rests,
Numbing the tissues and slaying the nerves,
Where reaching out leads to many regrets,
A lonely heart… a temple for dismay,
A broken one… a casket for the soul,
Buried deep in the dirt of consequence,
Eternally taking its treacherous toll.

In the silence of heartbreak is a viral hate,
A dissident of enormous proportions infested,
The murdering of a love once enjoyed,
Exhumed into a world of pain detested,
A lifeless smile… a mask of agony,
A heartless soul… a crown of thorns,
Into the shadows of tormenting screams,
This heart of blackness mourns.

In the silence of rejection is a tragic tale,
An affliction of disastrous destruction,
Eats away at the ventricles and veins of life,
Plunging the heart into an abyss of dysfunction
A scorned hope... a funeral hymn,
A dying dream... a fatal incision,
Into the calamitous void I stumble slow,
Until my expiration frees me from my prison.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Swan Song

They say ‘tis better to have loved, and lost, than never loved at all,
But that’s of little consolation when you’re burned and take the fall,
The quandary of the invested heart that is sadly turned away,
Is to try and heal itself amidst destruction and decay.

Forever rusted by the rains of change and chaotic twists of fate,
Befuddled in a misery compounded and fueled by hate,
As wretched as the weeping soul that howls in dismay,
Until the will to live that rests inside, withers itself away.

So insidious, the destruction to the nerve endings of hope,
Hanging, suffocating like a neck tangled in rope,
Battling with the feelings that now leave me so verbose,
The self-imposed hatred planted deep within me grows.

Perhaps I am too sensitive, and susceptible to pain,
And maybe my attempts to harden up are truly all in vain,
The way that I have learned to love has always been completely,
But it seems that doing so will soon take my soul away so sweetly.

They say ‘tis better to have loved, and lost, than never loved at all,
But that’s of little consolation when you’re burned and take the fall,
Especially days like today, when I lament all that’s gone wrong,
And every ounce of all I love will sing its final swan song... and be gone.

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Live With It

My days of comforting you are through,
The only one who will pull you from this hell you're in is you,
I've dedicated endless time and every ounce of love to this,
And yet, in times of hardship, I'M the one that you dismiss,
I cannot keep on living in the shadows that you cast,

You fill my soul with water, and I'm drowning way too fast,
I'm tired of you needing space, and needing time to think,
The fact is, the next time you close me out I'll be gone before you blink,

I'm beyond pissed off and frustrated with your disappearing acts,
And all of your "I'm Sorry's" never justify the facts,
You leave me hanging on this cross gasping for the air,
And I'm through with being the sacrificial lamb of your dispair,

If you wish to change the course of your life, it has to start today,
Because the way you treat me like nothing is driving me away,
You'd best rethink and realize my love is real while I still give it,
If you don't I'll be fucking gone, and this life you choose, you'll live it.