Melancholy Ink

Emptiness is the abyss in which I wallow,
Which makes each empty moment hard to swallow,
Choking on the knot that is lodged within my throat,
Manifested in each sad line of rhyme I’ve ever wrote,
The poet within me may set me free for awhile,
But there never seems to be any resolve behind my smile,
I’m really just a tattered mess that no one ever sees,
And though I’m standing six feet tall, deep down, I’m on my knees,
Crippled by the consequences of actions I have taken,
Burned by words from people that I clearly have mistaken,
I wish to be purged of this awful cataclysm,
As a demonized soul in need of a merciful exorcism,
Haunted by the faces of those who turned me away,
Lethargic as the will to love again starts to decay,
Maybe it’s the bad choices I’ve made for which I’m paying,
Perhaps it’s just the game of life I’m very bad at playing,
Too easily manipulated, too often taken for granted,
Leaving me to climb a mountain of emotions far too slanted,
Make no mistake, the love I’ve had… I’ve felt It,
But this hand feels as though the Devil himself has dealt it,
Petulant and ominous, storm after storm,
Stings at my heart like killer bees in a swarm,
I set out on my quest for relief from all the pain,
Only to reach the end of the road exhausted in disdain,
Reaching the summit, just to find ANOTHER peak,
And this endless climb of hopelessness has left me far too weak,
The eternal “fixer”, I seek souls who need help,
Only to make them smile, and live in hell myself,
“Do unto others” is the golden rule?
They omitted the part about being the fool,
I’ve tried to love people, and treat them like gold,
But it seems that my value is far undersold,
I’ve always thought of my love as a prize,
But in giving it, I always seal my demise,
It seems like I am the one who always loses,
Falling off this horse has left me covered in these bruises, 

I build these walls and boundaries as a way to keep me protected,

But I inevitably bring them down just to get infected,
By disappointment, rejection and a heartbreak never ending,
Life keeps writing me love-notes, but they’re so damn condescending,
For those I love, I’ve given every ounce of me I could,
But the story never seems to end quite the way it should,
What starts out as a fairy tale, turns to a tragic comedy,
But the person who isn’t laughing when the curtains close, is me…
Imprisoned by the conundrum that is love,
Tossed aside whenever the push comes to the shove,
All I want, in truth, is to have my love reciprocated,
But instead it seems I just get left alone and devastated,
To all the girls I’ve ever loved, and hurt… I’m truly sorry,
Sleep well knowing that karma has interrupted my life story,
I know that I have been a jerk, and caused my share of sores,
Repaid by every raincloud that hovers above me when it pours,
But now I ask the powers that be to give me a reprieve,
So I can recharge my soul and learn  again how to believe,
My optimism is at a zero on a scale of one to ten,
As evidenced by the melancholy ink that leaves this pen…