The Mourning After

Strike the match and light the fuse that leads to your despair,
And hurl your poisonous arrows from your lips without a care,
Flip the switch and draw your sword to slay those who oppose,
Ignore the pleas of my innocent heart that bleeds beneath your nose,
Feed the fire that fuels your hate and causes your blood to burn,
And suffocate the love inside like ashes of the dead in an urn,
Remember not, that your anger leads my soul to dwell in sorrow,
But I will be ok I think… if you still love me tomorrow.

Clench your fist and grit your teeth to recharge the vileness in your veins,
Rip your heart away in angst like a monster tangled in chains,
Chew on the scabs of the scars that you leave scattered in your wake,
And deny yourself the happiness I’ve laid before you to take,
Spew the venom that stings my eyes and cripples me in pain,
Ignore the cries for mercy that I clearly have uttered in vain,
Shielding myself in fear with these barriers I was forced to borrow,
But I will be ok I think… if you love me still tomorrow.

Clean up the blood with ammonia and cover up your tracks,
Grab the glue and mend your heart of its hundreds of oozing cracks,
Fall on your sword in disappointment, utter guilt and regret,
Cry in your pillow in misery… and pray to God I forget,
The travesty you unleashed upon me… and the remorse that fills your soul,
The cycle continues to spiral in ruin… taking toll after treacherous toll,
Wrapped up in your blanket… wet tears dripping… drowning in sorrow,
But I think you’ll be ok… if I can still love you tomorrow…

Soul Crusher

Shall I compare thee to a demon's sharp horns?

Or a beautiful rose, enshrouded in thorns,

A vengeful dragon with breath of black fire,

And the darkest of hearts, only Satan could admire,

A typhoon of ferociousness, clearing all in its path,

A plague of disease, full of merciless wrath,

Turning light into darkness and hopes into fears,

Unleashing its torment in a monsoon of tears.

Shall I compare thee to a venomous snake?

Or the screams of a Witch's last breath on the stake,

Deafening thunder of the Gods, great Olympus falls,

A whirlwind of evil crumbling Jericho's walls,

More vile and cerebral than a Satanists verse,

More sinister and viral than a Pharaoh's curse,

The ear shattering sirens of the trumpets of death,

Contrasted by the silence of its victim's last breath.

Shall I compare thee to a funeral knell?

Or the smell of burnt flesh from the depths of this hell,

The cauterized wounds from the knives in my back,

Or the gnashing of the marrow in my bones as they crack,

The applier of the noose to the necks of the weak,

The destroyer of optimism and bringer of bleak,

Grab for your crucifix and hope your prayer holds,

There shall be no forgiveness from the crusher of souls.

One Day

They knew not the corpse they slain, even as it bled,
The monster in the ambient nightmare resurrected,
Forged in flame and doused in potent gasoline,
Left for dead in fire and vitriol, infected.

They knew not the casket that they filed with a body,
The slivers left in their flesh from its weight their only proof,
The dirt left caked on their soul-less shoes the reminder,
Of the heart they crushed and left lost and aloof.

They knew not the hope they drowned in sorrow,
Or the optimism they crushed without a care,
Silent the killer, even moreso the victim interred,
Without even a stone to mark the place of the soul laid there.

They knew not the angel they created with their crime,
The Prince reborn of grace so remarkable and well,
The heart they tried to kill and send to listless eternity,
Is now reincarnated into its glory from that hell.

They knew not the foolish decision they had made,
They knew not the person deep within they threw away,
They knew not the resilience that resides within my soul,
My happiness will come in spite of them all... one day.

Enslaved In Psychosis

Rendered catatonic by my delusions and empty dreams,
Lost within my own minds eye, and tearing at the seams,
My grandeur visions... epiphanies, my lost reality... parasites,
Plunge me hopelessly into abysmal nights.

Jaded... my flesh tainted, my soul invaded by sorrow,
Consumed by tragedies of yesterday, and fearfulness of tomorrow,
I carry the virus of of trepidation deep within my veins,
Leaving me somber and dilapidated and covered in these stains.

Surgical in my own self destruction, the Doctor of my own demise,
Sordid is the optimism within, that slowly rots and dies,
Neurotically denying all that which has weakened my soul,
Necrosis slaughters my living cells, as misery takes control.

Systematic in my quest for relief from the tormenting pain,
Perseverance by my side as I steal out into the violent rain,
To shatter the shackles that bind me, and keep me from my dreams,
Eyes fixed... without wavering, on the prize, that even now still gleams...

The Wait

Beneath the freshly fallen snow, a single flame still burns,
Its gentle smoke seeks the oxygen of freedom for which it yearns,
Unable to be extinguished in spite of the flood that came,
This fire still burns in silent sleep, until my love releases its flame.

Obscured by trails of consequence and timing out of place,
Paled by circumstances dashed in ghostly white across my face,
Asleep, yet awake, but comatose... breathing to stay alive,
Blood still flowing within my veins, until my love again can thrive.

Weakened, my pulse... shallow my heartbeat... transient my mind,
Almost dead, to try and forget the pain I have left behind,
Darkness surrounds me within my grave, motionless and still,
Unwilling to be released, until my love returns me my will.

My wounds are covered in bandages, and stitched together with thread,
Doused in antiseptic and alcohol, in a cast from foot to head,
The IV seeping the nutrients and morphine into my veins,
Numb and unable to feel a thing, until my love removes my pains.

And so I wait... incapacitated. Unable to make a sound,
Until the love that left me, returns to me and turns the spell around,
A Sleeping Beauty of my own...  entombed... until these lips are kissed,
By the Princess, wherever she may be, that eternally, I have missed.

Kiss Of Death

From the lips of angels come the most heartbreaking goodbyes,
Like a poisoned tip on Cupid’s somber arrow as it flies,
Hampered in the heart by a love far too ill-fated,
Leaving me in a puddle of grief, humbly devastated,
Riddled in the mind by the deathly silent cacophony,
Exhuming within me the raw emotions of regret and agony,
The angel spread her wings and flew away when I needed her most,
Leaving me soulless, dead, and colorlessly pale as a ghost,
I still remember with vividness the sweetness of her skin,
As vivid as the emptiness she left in me, deep within,
I can’t erase the memories or the moments that we shared,
It leaves me feeling helplessly broken… unable to be repaired,
Tortured behind the venomous stares that fill my hollow eyes,
Much as a mantis that gives its final act of love, then dies,
I never even saw the fangs that hid behind your lips,
Until they bit into my heart, which even now, still drips…

The Fine Line

There is a fine line between what we want and what we need,
Sometimes its crossed by sadness, sometimes its crossed by greed,
But there’s no doubt at all, that we all choose the path we take,
In spite of all the consequences, and hearts we leave to break,
There is a fine line between who we are, and who we want to be,
And sometimes it takes a blinding light to finally help us see,
The realities of life that make us into who we are,
That either pulls our dreams towards us, or pushes them afar,
There is a fine line between what is love and what is hate,
Entangled in a choking vine that weaves the veins of fate,
Some of us will listen… and take the leap of faith without fear,
Some of us will choke on the choice and fall apart in tears,
There is a fine line between what is, and what shall be,
And CLEARLY in your life, what is just isn’t me,
It’s not because I’m worthless or not deserving of the chance,
It’s because you’re just not strong enough to take my hand and dance,
There is a fine line between what we want and what we need,
Sometimes its crossed by sadness, sometimes its crossed by greed,
It’s a line I crossed in search of you, that now has left be black,
But now I see that blinding light, and there is no turning back.

Melancholy Ink

Emptiness is the abyss in which I wallow,
Which makes each empty moment hard to swallow,
Choking on the knot that is lodged within my throat,
Manifested in each sad line of rhyme I’ve ever wrote,
The poet within me may set me free for awhile,
But there never seems to be any resolve behind my smile,
I’m really just a tattered mess that no one ever sees,
And though I’m standing six feet tall, deep down, I’m on my knees,
Crippled by the consequences of actions I have taken,
Burned by words from people that I clearly have mistaken,
I wish to be purged of this awful cataclysm,
As a demonized soul in need of a merciful exorcism,
Haunted by the faces of those who turned me away,
Lethargic as the will to love again starts to decay,
Maybe it’s the bad choices I’ve made for which I’m paying,
Perhaps it’s just the game of life I’m very bad at playing,
Too easily manipulated, too often taken for granted,
Leaving me to climb a mountain of emotions far too slanted,
Make no mistake, the love I’ve had… I’ve felt It,
But this hand feels as though the Devil himself has dealt it,
Petulant and ominous, storm after storm,
Stings at my heart like killer bees in a swarm,
I set out on my quest for relief from all the pain,
Only to reach the end of the road exhausted in disdain,
Reaching the summit, just to find ANOTHER peak,
And this endless climb of hopelessness has left me far too weak,
The eternal “fixer”, I seek souls who need help,
Only to make them smile, and live in hell myself,
“Do unto others” is the golden rule?
They omitted the part about being the fool,
I’ve tried to love people, and treat them like gold,
But it seems that my value is far undersold,
I’ve always thought of my love as a prize,
But in giving it, I always seal my demise,
It seems like I am the one who always loses,
Falling off this horse has left me covered in these bruises, 

I build these walls and boundaries as a way to keep me protected,

But I inevitably bring them down just to get infected,
By disappointment, rejection and a heartbreak never ending,
Life keeps writing me love-notes, but they’re so damn condescending,
For those I love, I’ve given every ounce of me I could,
But the story never seems to end quite the way it should,
What starts out as a fairy tale, turns to a tragic comedy,
But the person who isn’t laughing when the curtains close, is me…
Imprisoned by the conundrum that is love,
Tossed aside whenever the push comes to the shove,
All I want, in truth, is to have my love reciprocated,
But instead it seems I just get left alone and devastated,
To all the girls I’ve ever loved, and hurt… I’m truly sorry,
Sleep well knowing that karma has interrupted my life story,
I know that I have been a jerk, and caused my share of sores,
Repaid by every raincloud that hovers above me when it pours,
But now I ask the powers that be to give me a reprieve,
So I can recharge my soul and learn  again how to believe,
My optimism is at a zero on a scale of one to ten,
As evidenced by the melancholy ink that leaves this pen…

Heartbreak and Headstones

I’ve always equated love lost with death,
Like a sickened soul taking its final breath,
The memories like the headstone with an epitaph,
The place I go to mourn while reapers laugh,
I’ve always equated walking away to a funeral procession,
Grieving with no real sense of direction,
Weeping and tolling in sadness and distress,
Leaving my complexion a teary mess.
I’ve always equated goodbye as eulogy,
Uttered words with no reason in futility,
Kneeling with Kleenex and tattered hopes,
Lowering the coffin with squeaking ropes,
I’ve always equated heartbreak as a burial ceremony,
Leaving me dressed in black and painfully lonely,
Choking up inside with every ring of the knell,
Heartbreak and headstones… two things I know too well…

Paradise Lost

Reflecting upon the many things I have endeavored,
Once again, all the dreams I have in life are severed,
Drowned in infamy and shrouded by the lies,
Another piece of my wounded black heart dies,
Drenched in guilt and confounded by such shame,
I meddle in the torture that bears your name,
I stand beneath the sun arms wide apart,
As you plunge the dagger deep into my heart.

I tried so hard to try to make you see,
The love that would have rescued you, was me,
And yet, you turned your back on me once more,
And left me in the rain outside your door,
It rattles me and pains me to the bone,
To watch you walk away from all we’ve known,
But in the end, I’ve come to understand,
I cannot force my heart into your hand.

Maybe it’s the fact that you are too afraid,
Perhaps it’s the end of a game you've well played,
But you can bet your life I question everything you said,
By the fact you’ve turned away and left me for dead,
Comprehension, I have none… how could I ever?
Especially when you claimed you’d want to lose me never,
I guess everything isn’t quite as real as it sometimes seems,
Once the Reaper takes his sickle to your dreams.

I invested so much love in you, and tried to heal your soul,
But now the fact you dismiss me, is taking its final toll,
I came to accept, and love you, for who I THOUGHT you were,
But you just aren’t that person, that much is for sure,
You cannot love someone and just leave them in the cold,
This isn’t some twisted game where love is bought and sold,
I opened up my heart to you, and left myself exposed,
And now the veins that pump my blood have closed.

Maybe to you, whatever we had was nothing, just for kicks,

But to me, it was something that I perceived as worth the risks,
Clearly, however, I was wrong about the way you really thought,
And the ease with which you drop me has me feeling quite distraught,
I’m not really sure what more I could have done to make you see,
That the person who was taking all the bullets for you was me,
Sometimes you have to lose something, to realize the cost,
As you slowly drift away from the paradise you lost.

As Your Casket Closes

Today I had to let you go, once and for all,
I’ve had enough of you throwing all my love against the wall,
It’s true I love you still, but you have left me in the cold,
And all the silence has left me hurt, and now its growing old,
I cannot change the way you feel, or make you understand,
And it seems that now, at last, I haven’t a leg on which to stand,
I’ve tried to save what once was great, but you just disappeared,
And now I have to face the life, for far too long I’ve feared.

I’m stumbling over all your words, and things you made me feel,
But now I doubt that any of those things were even real,
How can you expect me to believe that you were sincere,
When you walk away, just like that, and leave me dying here,
It doesn’t make a lick of sense, and I really don’t know why,
You said the things you did, and then just grew some wings to fly,
Away from us and all we had, without even a sound,
It appears the love I wrapped you with, has now become unwound.

I tried my best to deal with things, as messed up as they were,
But every volcano full of rage, erupts eventually, for sure,
I cannot be kept in the shadows, when all I wanted for you was light,
But I can’t be the only one who fights for what is right,
I made my effort to fix it, and try to talk things through,
But you ignored me and left me broken, just like you always do,
I guess I never meant enough, despite the things you claimed,
And though I will have to walk away from this, I do so unashamed.

Because I know I loved you the best I could, no matter what you say,
And I hope you never live to regret the love you’ve thrown away,
I can’t deny I was frustrated, but only because I Loved you so much,
And instead of trying to understand it, you used it as a crutch,
I have no regrets, I gave it my all, and you can guarantee,
You’ll search for quite awhile to find a love as real as me,
As I turn my back as you have forced me to, I shed a tear as I depart,
But as your casket closes, so too does my heart.

Invest In Vain

Invest in me my love, and I will surely let you down,
I’ll make you feel like royalty, and then I’ll watch you drown,
For me you are a great escape, for all the things I need,
But in the end, I’ll go back to him, and leave you alone to bleed,
Invest in me my love, and I will break your heart,
I’ll come to you on my terms, and I’ll choose when we depart,
I know I’ve got you in my hands, it’s where I like you most,
But when you search for me, I’ll be invisible like a ghost.

I know you are in love with me, it fills my heart with glee,
But I cannot not leave my other life, it isn’t you… it’s me,
It’s not because I hate you, or because it isn’t real,
It’s because I fear to make a choice, and I’m too afraid to feel,
It’s true I love you, I hope you know, but try to understand,
I’ve got a million excuses why I cannot take your hand,
I’ll say the things you need to hear, to keep you close to me,
But in the end, I’ll disappoint you… it’s how it has to be.

Invest in me my love, and I will bring you to your knees,
I’ll fill your heart with love, and then I’ll kill it like disease,
I’ll put myself in all your thoughts, and make you wonder why,
I’ll withdraw from you when things get weird, and leave you there to cry,
I can’t have you like you want, but I have to let you know,
You give me far too much for me to ever let you go,
So invest in me my love, and let me make it clear,
As long as you'll let me need you… I surely will my dear…

The Fall

For all my life I've always found a way to mess things up,
I've always fought so hard for things I should've given up,
Forget the fact I'm stupid, and that nothing's as it seems,
I always find the path that takes me furthest from my dreams,
With every disappointment, and every lesson learned,
I wear the scars of misery, that clearly I have earned,
If you swim in the ocean of consequence where people let you down,
You'd best believe this ruthless world will gladly watch you drown,
I've always let my heart lead me, everywhere I've gone,
And despite the best intentions... the heartbreaks linger on,
And just when things get better, and my hope becomes reborn,
The storm clouds block the sunshine and my optimism's torn,
I put my faith in loving you... hoping I was right,
Yet somehow, instead I'm plunged into endless night,
The problem with the fact I let you build me up so tall,
Is that inevitably... I'll shatter when I fall.

Somnolent Whispers

In the wake of heartbreak I inevitably swoon,
Amidst the blinding shadows of the eclipsing moon,
Visceral and foreboding in my numb and transient mood,
Comatose as the fibers of my soul become unglued,
Silent are the echoes in the corners of the room,
Muffled is the heart that beats in the face of doom,
Unraveled and unbridled by my accepted demise,
I fall into my destiny, and slowly close my eyes,
Fractured by the many years of weight that I have carried,
Haunted by the emotions I have kept deep inside and buried,
Listless in my will to erase the memories of despair,
Submerged in misery as ravens fill the air,
Somnolent whispers are all this heart shall know,
Far, far too afraid of letting go,
For in the end the silence is the blood that keeps me alive,
Until the well runs dry and my will to live on dies.

The Calamitous Void

In the silence of sadness is an ever chilling wind,
Where the hand of death upon your shoulder rests,
Numbing the tissues and slaying the nerves,
Where reaching out leads to many regrets,
A lonely heart… a temple for dismay,
A broken one… a casket for the soul,
Buried deep in the dirt of consequence,
Eternally taking its treacherous toll.

In the silence of heartbreak is a viral hate,
A dissident of enormous proportions infested,
The murdering of a love once enjoyed,
Exhumed into a world of pain detested,
A lifeless smile… a mask of agony,
A heartless soul… a crown of thorns,
Into the shadows of tormenting screams,
This heart of blackness mourns.

In the silence of rejection is a tragic tale,
An affliction of disastrous destruction,
Eats away at the ventricles and veins of life,
Plunging the heart into an abyss of dysfunction
A scorned hope... a funeral hymn,

A dying dream... a fatal incision,

Into the calamitous void I stumble slow,
Until my expiration frees me from my prison.